Ryan and Shelley caught up during lunch. They worked for the same organisation, but in different teams. Ryan noticed that Shelley looked a little subdued, and it wasn’t the first time. She had appeared rather tense in the past few months. She was a single mum and had a lot going on in her personal life. He asked her, out of concern “Is everything ok?’ She replied “Yes, it’s fine.” Ryan did not reply, he just looked at her, as if waiting for her to continue. She held her breath and then said “You know, we’ve had to move houses last week, right?” “Right”, replied Ryan, almost immediately. “Well, that means that it’s added to my commute to work given my son’s childcare is further away now. By the time I drop him off and reach work, either office or home, it’s much later than everyone else on the team”. “Ok?” enquired Ryan quizzingly. “Well, You-Know-Who’s giving me grief about it!” said Shelley, rather heavily. Ryan felt for her. You-Know-Who had come up in their conversations previously. Every time he did, there seemed to be a cloud hanging over Shelley’s head. She was stressed and anxious, and that seemed to be taking a toll on her mental health. “Do you want to maybe speak to HR about it?” Shelley sighed and shook her head. “I still need to work with him. I feel it might make things worse for me”
You-Know-Who was Shelley’s manager. She was reporting to him for the past 6 months. Her working relationship with You-Know-How was rather tense. While her previous manager was supportive of her personal situation, and her juggling multiple responsibilities outside work, You-Know-Who wasn’t that supportive. There was a rather lack of empathy everytime she went to him with a request to attend to some personal matters during the working day- be it picking up her son from childcare if he wasn’t well, or taking him to certain appointments/activities. She had a rather flexible arrangement in terms of her working hours to be able to navigate through all of this. After Who-Know-Who came in, there seemed to be frequent scrutiny of her working arrangement. When she had to step out, how long she was away for, her leave requests. Who-Know-Who was of the opinion that everyone in the team was supposed to have similar working arrangements. He thought that the uniformity would create fair working conditions for everyone. So if Shelley was going to be away more frequently for “various reasons”, he feared others might follow suit.
The thing is, Shelley was really good at her job, and was very efficient. She knew that with her personal life being rather dynamic, a disruption to her work schedule always seemed imminent. So she made up for that by staying ahead, and ensuring that she completed all her tasks. After all, that was what her previous manager advised her “As long as the work gets done, I don’t mind”. But You-Know-Who seemed to have a different view. It was as if Shelley’s efficiency did not matter, nor that her quality of work head and shoulders above everyone else’s. Her friendly nature and her tendency to help others also did not seem to matter. To him, it was his sense of “fair” that mattered, to gauge everyone by the same yardstick. And over the last 6 months, there were often tense conversations about her work, and her priorities. To add to her misery, some of her team members appeared to pick on You-Know-Who’s direction, and made snide comments about how “Oh, Shelley has to go away again” or “As always, we’ll hold the fort while you’re away“.
Shelley’s organisation always put forth the message that they were supportive of flexible work choices, and help their employees manage their work-life balance. You-know-Who seemed to operate differently, wasn’t hesitant to impose his ways of working on the team. Those who complied with his ways of working were better off. For someone like Shelley, it created lots of problems.
The characters in this story are made up- No offence to any Ryan’s and Shelley’s reading this. However, the story isn’t. This is just one of the many scenarios where leaders fail to appreciate the people they work with, and their constraints. In a March 2022 Gartner survey of over 200 HR leaders, 90% respondents believe that to succeed on today’s work environment, leaders must focus on human aspects of leadership. However, in another Gartner survey of nearly 3400 employees, only 29% believe that their leader is a human, or a people leader. Specifically, they struggle across 3 aspects- authenticity, empathy and flexibility. Tells a story, doesn’t it? Organisations recognise that human centred leadership is vital for success in today’ landscape. However, leaders are struggling to catchup, and badly so. There is a distinct need of human centred leadership in today’s world. This is something that has been highlighted since COVID. People need to juggle multiple responsibilities outside work. Not everyone is in the same boat though. For some, there might be more things to manage, For others, it might be less.
What leaders need to appreciate is that there isn’t one yardstick to gauge employees’ performance and contribution to the team. You-Know-Who certainly missed the memo here. The definition of work-balance is different for everyone. As a leader, you need to develop the awareness of where your team members are at, and meet them there. There is a lot of emphasis on terms like human centred design, where we show greater empathy towards our customers/stakeholders. I think a similar focus needs to come in the realm of leadership. Leaders need to adopt human centred leadership, to put their people first, to understand them, and importantly, empathise with them.
This isn’t limited to just supporting work-life balance. This is about creating a space where people feel safe, where they feel like they belong, and they are valued. A space where they aren’t afraid to make mistakes, or feel the need to cover up. A space where people feel like they can be themselves, not adopt a different ‘persona’ while their leader is around. That just isn’t authentic. Where people can express their ideas and opinions freely, without fear of judgement or being dismissed by others. That’s where through your leadership, you create a human centred culture. As you become more intentional about creating such an environment, you set your team up for success- to be more productive, to enjoy themselves at work, and to create and deliver serious value to others.
Here’s my invitation to you- to reflect on how well or how consistently you demonstrate human centred leadership. How focused are you on creating an environment where people thrive?